01

失败并不可怕
可怕的是你还相信这句话
Failure is not horrible.
What's horrible is that you believe this.

02

你以为有钱人很快乐吗？
他们的快乐你根本想象不到
You think the rich are happy?
No, the way they're happy is beyond your imagination.

03

你们之所以喝鸡汤
是因为肉被别人吃了
You have chicken soup for the soul.
Because someone else already ate the chicken.

04

条条大路通罗马
而有些人就生在罗马
All roads lead to Rome.
Yet, some people have been living there ever since they were born.

05

别灰心
人生就是这样起起落落落落
落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落
Don't be discouraged.
Life is full of ups and downs,
and all the downs after those downs.

06

有些人出现在你的生命里
是为了告诉你：你真好骗
Some people come to you in your life
to make you know that you are such an easy target.

07

比一个人吃火锅更寂寞的是
一个人没有钱吃火锅
What makes one even lonelier than having chafingdish alone?
That you can't even afford the chafingdish.

08

你不努力一下
怎么知道什么叫绝望呢？
If you don't try,
how can you know what it feels like to be desperate?

09

男女之间一定有纯真的友谊
因为每一个认识我的女生
都说最多只能跟我做朋友
There has to be real friendship between boys and girls.
Because every girl I know told me that
we could only be friends.

10

比尔·盖茨休学创业成了世界首富
但人家休的是哈佛大学
Bill Gates became the richest man
by dropping out of school and starting his own business.
But the school he dropped out is Harvard.

11

不要没完没了地修图
你现实中长得不好看我们都知道
Don't photoshop yourself again and again.
We know you look ugly in reality.

12

你无法用钱买到幸福
因为你没有钱
You can't buy happiness with money,
Because you don't have money.

13

最怕你一生碌碌无为
还安慰自己平凡可贵
The worst nightmare is that you achieve nothing in your life
and manage to believe it's a blessing to be common.

14

不要看别人表面上一帆风顺
实际上，他们背地里，也是一帆风顺
Some people seem to have everything.
In fact, they do have everything.

15

受够了又肥又丑的自己吗？
快去健身房吧，光丑就行了
Tired of being fat and ugly?
Then go to the gym. Just be ugly!

16

你无法叫醒一个不回你消息的人
但是红包可以
You can't wake up someone who doesn't want to text you back.
But money can.

17

虽然你单身
但你胖若两人
Though you're single,
you occupy twice the space.

18

好女孩只得到了好字
而漂亮女孩却得到了所有
A good girl has good reputation.
A pretty girl has everything.

19

爱笑的女生运气不会太差
说实话，如果一个女生运气一直不好
我不知道她怎么笑得出来
A girl who laughs a lot usually has fortune on her side.
Seriously, I don't know how someone can manage to laugh if she got screwed by life.

20

像我这种连名牌都不认识几个的人
有时候连别人在炫富都感觉不到
With such limited knowledge of brands,
I can't even recognize when some people show off their wealth.

21

当你觉得自己又丑又穷、一无是处时
别绝望，因为至少你的判断还是对的
If you feel ugly, poor and useless,
don't be devastated.
At least you have good judgement.

22

喜欢一个人就去表白
万一成备胎了呢
If you have a crush on somebody, go tell that person.
There's a chance that you become the Plan B.

23

哪有什么选择困难症
还不是因为穷
There is no such a thing called allodoxaphobia.
You are just being poor.

24

你只知道人家化妆比你好看
却不知道，她们卸了妆
不仅比你好看，皮肤还吹弹可破
You only know that they look prettier than you in their make-up.
What you don't know is:
underneath those make-up, not only are they prettier than you, they also have perfectly good skin.

25

为什么总是天妒英才呢？
因为没人管笨蛋活多久
Why does fate always mess up with geniuses?
Because no one bother caring about idiots.

26

当上帝给你关上一扇门
他还会顺便把窗子也一起关了
When God closes a door for you,
he'd close the windows all together.

27

一些人常会被骂，说每天像猪一样爱睡懒觉
真的是太委屈了，猪都比你起得早
Some people are said to be like pigs because they sleep too much.
That's not fair, pigs get up earlier.

28

学校的厕所为什么放镜子？
是为了让你知道：人丑就要多读书
Why do schools install mirrors in the restrooms?
Because they want you to know:
with such unsatisfying appearance of yours, your only chance is to study.

29

人生很多事，终究会随着时间好起来
比如很多人原本只是胖，久了就变好胖
Things do get improved as time goes by.
For example, some people were fat and they got fatter and fatter.

30

这段日子迷茫又黑暗
撑过去了会有下一个黑暗等着你
Days are dark and troubled now.
Just keep going, so you can see more darkness beyond them.

31

生活不止眼前的苟且
还有前任的喜帖
Life is not all about the muddle that you see,
but also the ones that you will see,
such as your ex's wedding invitation.

32

许多人说北上广深机会多
但没人说那是你的呀
People say there are more opportunities in the metropolises.
But did anybody ever say they were yours?

33

谁说你没有毅力的？
单身这事你不就坚持了好几十年么
Who said you lack perseverance?
You managed to be single for decades!

34

女追男隔层纱
那得男的本来就对你有好感
不然隔的基本都是铁丝网，还是带电的那种
They say it's easy for a girl to pursue a man,
easy like poking through a veil.
But that has to be when the man already has a crush on you.
Otherwise what you need to poke through would be a bunch of barbed wire with electricity running through.

35

当你失败的时候
身边会有一群关心你的人
他们会问你发生了什么
听听你的失败经验
然后心满意足地离开
When you fail, there will be people who cares.
They come and ask.
They listen.
And they leave with satisfaction.

36

等你老了，走不动了
我就每天用轮椅推你到广场上去
让你看着我和别的老头跳舞
When you get old and loose the ability to walk,
I will take you to the plaza in a wheelchair day by day
to make you watch me dance with other old men.

37

有的人是来爱你的
有的人就是来给你上课的
Some people come to love you.
Some people come to make you question life.

38

如果一个人秒回了你
只能说明这个人在玩手机
If someone text you right back,
well, you can be sure he happens to be using his phone.

39

你以为他是不会表达
其实他只是不想跟你讲话
You think he is being clumsy with words.
But the fact is he just doesn't want to talk to you.

40

喜欢一个人一定要去表白
不被拒绝一下，你还真以为自己是小仙女呢
If you have a crush on someone, do tell him.
Because without his rejection, you'd really see yourself as Cleopatra.

41

你努力过后才发现
智商的鸿沟是无法逾越的
You try.
And you learn that IQ is not something you can work on.

42

你才二十多岁
没有遇到喜欢的人很正常
往后你会发现，大概是遇不到的
You are just 20.
It's absolutely common that you haven't had any crush on anybody.
Sooner or later you'll know, it's totally possible that you won't, ever.

43

单身没关系
以后单身的日子还长着呢
It's alright to be single.
Anyway, you're gonna be like that for a long long time.

44

以前觉得靠关系的人一定很无能
接触过后发现人家样样比你强
You think people who take advantage of their relationships are without merit.
After you meet one, you'll know you have none of their merits.

45

不努力的女生
会有买不完的地摊货、逛不完的菜市场
努力的女生
你就没时间逛地摊了
因为你只能加班叫外卖、逛网店！
Girl, if you don't work hard,
you'll spend your life buying cheap products and groceries.
But if you work hard,
you won't have time for all this!
You can only work overtime and buy things online!